As you do...

So there I was sitting on the toilet playing the Argos Catalogue Game ("guess how much this fabulous pink Teflon-coated steam iron is?"*) with Thebazile while she had a shower, as you do, when I noticed a 'future-proof' 10-in-1 TV/satellite/audio system etc remote control. I started to imagine a world of floods and eco-armageddon whilst the lucky purchaser sat smugly inside a magical protective bubble beamed from his 10-in-1. What an intelligent purchase he made back in 2009. Unless, of course he forgot the batteries (not included). On that theme I've always found it odd that most 4x4s are fitted with Climate Control. 'Fire-storms getting a little intense today dear, shall we turn up the climate control a little?'

I was all set to get on my high-horse about green-wash, Organics shampoo, Nescafe fair-trade, David Cameron etc when Thebazile found an item (I won't tell you what) with the small-print warning 'dwarf not included'.

What? No dwarf? I'm not buying that then.


* £148.99